Judas Pig

While falling down online rabbit holes researching organized crime, I came across a near-mythical book called Judas Pig.

I snatched it up off of Amazon and read it, and let me tell you... It is something. Judas Pig is the most disgusting, disturbing, stomach-churning book I've ever read. Is it good? By every possible definition of good, it is most definitely not good. Is it entertaining? Some parts, yes. Is it engaging? Very much so. Does it hold your interest? Painfully.  Should you read it? That depends. Let me explain. 

Judas Pig: The Myth

Judas Pig is a fictional memoir written by a ghost author named Horace Silver. It follows two characters who run a British Firm (think organized crime family) in London in the 80s. The two main characters, the author Billy and his companion and boss, Danny Longshanks, are easily identified as real-life mobsters. Most importantly, David Hunt of the Hunt Syndicate, who is known as Long Fella (due to his height).  If the similarity in names (Danny Longshanks vs David Long Fella) wasn't enough, there is the hobby Danny/David has, which is described at length: raising racing pigeons. 

Herein lies the myth. David Hunt is no joke. Internal files of the Metropolitan Police describe him as "too big to bring down." If that isn't wild enough, then get this: In 2013, Hunt sued The Sunday Times because they had described him as a gangster involved in a turf war around valuable land related to the 2012 London Olympics. During the course of the trial, which Hunt lost, there was one interesting tidbit where he was questioned about how he could afford a posh mansion, which was purchased in 1993 for approximately $900,000, while also reporting no income. Literally, in the tax state that is the UK, David Hunt did not pay income tax from 1982 to 1996 because he declared he had no income. He couldn't recall during the trial how he afforded the home. He lost the lawsuit. So officially, he can be labeled as a criminal, but also officially, he has never been charged or served time. Like the police said, he is "too big to bring down." 

With that in mind, it is rather shocking that someone wrote a "fictional" book about their criminal enterprises. And this is where the mythical element of Judas Pig comes into play: "Billy" was David Hunt's right-hand man.  What the author describes, as much as you hope it is fiction, is based on truth. As the excellent piece in Rolling Stone puts it, "it’s not often that a novel potentially holds the key to at least five unsolved murders."

Judas Pig: The Man

So, who is Horace Silver? Well, it wasn't long before people were able to connect the dots between the events described, the Hunt Syndicate, and the author. The author isn't a guy named Horace Silver. The author is Jimmy Holmes (or Billy in the novel). Jimmy has remained elusive and hard to find, which makes sense given he outs one of the biggest and most powerful (and violent) criminal figures in the UK in his book. Not to mention the number of times he makes fun of him. But, if you're as curious as me, you can watch this pretty wild interview with him on YouTube.

It is easy to miss the significance of the "alleged" author of this book. If the author is who everyone thinks he is, then this is a man who not only never got in trouble with the law for being a criminal, but he never turned rat. He simply walked away, completely unrepentant of the life he once lived. 

Judas Pig and Snatch

Kudos to Guy Ritchie. I'm not sure what his background is, but this reads like an X-Rated (is there something higher/worse than X?) version of Snatch. It features unlicensed boxing matches, extremely violent criminals, random killings for no reason other than to kill, sex shops, and even a pig farmer who helps make bodies disappear. Which is why I have to share this great scene from Snatch and remind you to Never trust a pig farmer.

Reading this book gave me a better appreciation for Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I never really understood how organized crime works in the UK. It isn't like elsewhere, where there are literal organizations that transcend generations. In the UK, smaller gangs usually die out when their members do. 

From East London to Philippi 

So, a word of caution on two fronts. First, on accessibility. This book is written in Cockney, which truly is its own language. Fortunately, I purchased a Kindle version of this book because I found myself frequently copying/pasting entire pages into ChatGPT to translate it into American English. So, if you are going to read this, be prepared to have to work hard to understand what is happening.

Second, once you realize what you're reading, be prepared to be shocked. Or upset. Or sickened. Or disgusted with yourself for continuing to read the book. The Sinatra Club was a hard read for me because it really blew up The Godfather aura and honorability of organized crime and revealed them for the despicable humans. But Judas Pig makes The Sinatra Club look like a Disney Princess movie. What made it especially difficult was the knowledge that at least some of this was real. Which murder, rape, or brutal beating that I was reading about really happened? It is a grisly read. The violence is visceral. Since outright murder is about the only crime that will land you in heat with the police in the UK, the crimes would use beating someone to an inch of death as their way of handling things.  Then take the person, not kidding, to the hospital and leave them at the door outside so they'd live. But the beatings are brutal. The nasty episodes in brothels, sex shops, porn theaters, and bathroom stalls were hard to read. Frankly, proceed with caution. This book definitely doesn't pass the Philippians 4 test.

Billy/Jimmy understands what type of person he is. He doesn't shy away from the fact that he isn't good or that Danny is a psycho. Just as one example from the book, he writes, "the other day I was in a doctor's waiting room, and there was a magazine with a quiz in it. 'How would you describe yourself/' it asked. I wrote in the space: 'Nasty, horrible, vindictive little bastard.' And I reckon that's about right."

Jimmy is a talented writer. He knows how to turn a phrase and put a lot into a few words. Consider how he describes entering a boxing gym. "Sucking in a couple of deep breaths to acclimatise, I ease my way past a handful of solemn men soaked in sweat and the toils of their trade. In stony-faced silence they push themselves through the time-honoured rituals of punching bags, boxing shadows and chasing elusive dreams, and all to the heart stopping bass and rat-a-tat tat rap of eardrum shattering east coast hip-hop, blasting from a bashed-up boom box in the corner."

You can see it. You can hear it. And you can feel the emotions of chasing an elusive dream along with his dismissive opinion of them. 

So why read it? Well, if you are interested in understanding human nature, read the Bible. If you're interested in seeing what a truly fallen society looks like, read Judges or Judas Pig. What I will say is that the author is filled with anger. His childhood was horrible. Early in the book, he describes it fleetingly as "For me childhood was a brutal time full of bare light bulbs and angry black shadows. I learnt from very early on that it was us or them." As the book progresses, he shares some of the "brutal," and it was... sad. So, so sad. Perhaps the most depressing part was his encounter with Christian missionaries in an apartment. He ends up sharing an uncomfortable elevator ride with them. I'll spare you the terrible things he says about Jesus. As he gets off, they tell him Jesus loves him, and this sends him into a rage. 

His life has been hard. Terrible things happened to him when he was young, and as he grew up, he made horrible choices. But if there is any good note to end this on it is that the Christians in that elevator aren't wrong. Jesus does love Jimmy Holmes. And all of the others like him, caught in a sick cycle carousel of a terrible life, where the only way off seems to be through violence. It is never too late for a second chance at a new life. And that's, personally, what I need to remember when I read a book like this.

It is easy to judge someone who brags about killing someone. But are they any different from you or me? Luke 13: Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”